How to be Popular on Stan Twitter

Stan Twitter is a tricky place with many unwritten rules and social codes. But fear not! This handy guide provides you with tips and tricks in the six main categories of Stan Twitter: Handle/name, header/icon, account info, pinned tweet, interaction and group chats, and daily tweets. Lesson number one, know that Stan Twitter often overlaps with Gay Twitter. Like the (hugely problematic) Kinsey Scale but one end is Stan Twitter and one end is Gay Twitter. Buckle up and get ready to become popular!

Handle and Twitter Name

Your twitter handle and name are the most important parts of gaining some status on Stan Twitter. It’s the very first thing you choose when setting up an account, and one of the first things followers are going to remember you by.

Handle

  • Your handle (@) has to be related to your fandom.
  • Just know that your fandom will change.
  • And also that all the good handles are already taken.

Pro tip: To have a good handle, just use lowercase L as capital i and vice versa. That way you can get the handle you want, and no one will ever be able to search your name and find you.

Twitter Name

Your twitter name should not be your full name, periodt.

  • Use just your first name.
  • Or a nickname.
  • Or maybe even just the first letter of your name.
  • Feel free to use an emoji but don’t overdo it.

You also need a countdown in your name.

  • Countdown for what? It doesn’t matter.
  • It makes you cool because average people have miserable lives with nothing to look forward to. Not you though, because you have a countdown.

Header and Icon

Your header and icon are vital to attracting followers to your account. It tells users what your main fandom is and puts an image in their brain when they think about your account.

  1. Make sure your header and icon match in some way.
  2. Maybe pick a color palette and stick to it. Sometimes header/icon fandoms don’t originate from the same fandom. Pick your main two fandoms and use one as your icon and one as your header. Otherwise, followers will forget that you have more than one interest.

Judging the compatibility of header and icon is a difficult task. When you change both at once, be sure to rotate through at least six options throughout the day until somebody calls you out for it. This ensures that you’re getting the attention you desperately need.

Header

The header is large, so you have a big canvas to work with when choosing the right picture.

  • For maximum popularity points, the header should probably be a solid color with a quote so small that people can hardly read it.
  • Or screencap with no color or brightness alterations, even if the screen is too dark to see who is in the screencap.
  • Don’t forget to change it often.

Icon

Your icon is even more important than your header because it’s visible to everyone even when they aren’t viewing your account.

Before you choose an icon, know that you have to change your icon at a minimum of once every two weeks using the new content in your fandom. This can be promo photos, screencaps of new episodes, or actors’ Instagrams.

  • If you don’t change it frequently, you’re not in the fandom and you’re not part of Stan Twitter.  

Protip: Try matching your icon with another Twitter user. For example, your icons are different characters from the same scene of a TV show. It tells other people that you already have a best friend and you don’t need them.

Note: You are rarely good enough to use a picture of yourself as an icon. Stick to a character that you project your feelings onto instead. Rule of thumb: you can only use our own face when you get to 3k followers.

Account Info: Bio, Location, and Link

Next, we have all the information kept on your account that gives Twitter Stans a little window into your soul. Sometimes this takes on a Super Stan approach, or you might actually provide some information about yourself. This depends on where you stand on the Stan Twitter and Gay Twitter scale. If you’re mostly Stan, just stick to Stan. If you’re a little Gay, maybe give away more details about yourself here. But remember, keep it to a minimum.

Bio

Your bio can be one of two things:

  1. An overused quote from your current obsession, or
  2. A list of defining labels only. Including but not limited to:
    1. Name
    2. Age
    3. Gender
    4. Pronouns
    5. Sexual Orientation
    6. Main fandom(s)
    7. Zodiac sign
    8. Name of BFF or partner
    9. Hogwarts House or Myers-Briggs personality (although this one is phasing out).
    10. Profession and/or hobby (usually: [type of student, writer, activist, Youtuber, tea drinker, reader, feminist, or [blank] trash/enthusiast.)

Location

Your location doesn’t actually reveal your location. Instead, you pick the most interesting thing from the list above and put that in your location. If you must, the location might only reveal the country or state you live in. Only reveal the city if it’s a super rad city.

If you follow every step exactly to become popular as planned, this is the necessary safety precaution.

Link

The link should also be one of two things:

  1. A curious cat link that your followers will ignore until you reach 3k followers, or
  2. A link that corresponds with your listed profession (e.g. a blog, youtube, Tumblr page, etc.)

Pinned Tweet

Your pinned tweet is the first tweet that everyone is goingto see when viewing your account. Use it wisely by pinning one of the following tweets:

  1. A gofundme since you are either: A. A student, B. Creating shit for free 24/7, or C. Both.
  2. A link to some of the shit you create for free (latest blog post, Youtube video, SoundCloud upload, fanvid, fanfic, etc.)
  3. The last time you met a celebrity or the last time a celebrity interacted with you on Twitter. (This is only relevant if the celebrity is part of your main fandom.)
  4. If you’re in a relationship, the latest photo series of you and your partner making out.
  5. A thread of threads. Also known as, a maze of tweets that no one cares about.
  6. Under special circumstances, you may use selfies using last Sunday’s gay tag.
    1. If you learn more toward the Gay Twitter scale, these might even be rated PG-13 for partial nudity.

Interactions and Group Chats

Being popular is all about who you know, which is why interacting with people in the fandom and participating in group chats is such a simple way of gaining popularity points on Stan Twitter. Here are just a few ways you can do that.

  1. Like the tweets of people you idolize in the fandom. Don’t actually talk to them.
  2. Tweet about how much you love your mutuals, even though you never talk to them.

Those are actually the only two social actions you can take without being part of a group chat. Without a group chat, you won’t be able to judge whether or not you’re friends with someone.

Group Chats

Once you’re in a group chat, everyone else in the chat is automatically your friend. Here are some ways you can interact with group chats and your new friends:

  • Send your best tweets to the group chat and use each other to boost the likes on your tweets.
  • Remember that everyone in the chat is your best friend. They are all your ride or die.
  • It doesn’t matter if your only interaction is screaming over a promo, you have every right to expect them to include you in every tweet, post, photo, and tag.
  • You should also expect group chat friends to carry your life’s heaviest struggles. No need to build a relationship first like you do in real life. These people transcend the boundaries of strangers –> acquaintances –> friends –> close friends.
  • In fact, use your group chat as a form of group therapy. When the chat is active and talking about the latest fandom content, derail the conversation by explaining one of your many mundane problems. (For example, talk about your hopeless crush or how awful your parents are.) And don’t be shy about playing the self-pity card.

Remember that a group chat can’t stay active without drama. The more drama you cause, the better.  

Daily Tweets

This is arguably the most important section because it builds your followship, keeps your content ongoing, and gets you seen by people in the fandom. You must tweet at least one tweet from each category per week to reach peak popularity on Stan Twitter.

Instagram Repost: Pick a photo from a celebrity’s Instagram and tweet it with some form of lingual screaming. (This usually includes a keysmash in all caps. Example: JFDLIRFJDKL.)

SunGay Tag: If you’re LGBTQ+ you should be posting selfies with the gay hashtag created by Mary M every Sunday. Don’t miss a Sunday or you risk getting your gay membership revoked.

Celebrity Callout: Pick a celebrity (not from your fandom) that did something problematic in 2015. Bonus points if you provide evidence and distort it to fit your narrative. Some popular categories include: jokes that might offend a marginal group that you don’t belong to, not fulfilling every “ally” requirement that you yourself created, or supporting even more problematic people (like any straight white cis male).

If the celebrity currently under a bandwagon callout is part of your fandom, defend them by using no logic whatsoever. Note that there is never a middle ground.

Bandwagoning: Find something controversial that people are talking about and jump on that bandwagon. For example, if some people are saying that you, as a person, have only one responsibility which is to take care of yourself, you should also tweet something along these lines, but with a fresh take. (Example tweet: Reciprocating the love, support, and listening time from your friends is YOUR CHOICE. If you don’t want to be a decent person, you don’t have to be.)

Distaste for [Female Celebrity]: Choose one famous woman and vocally hate her for a number of absurd reasons. (Example tweet: I don’t get how people actually like Natalie Portman. She has a fucking degree from Harvard like go make some use for it and get off my television screen, ugly Dala.)

Hypocritical Post: You have to go back on your own words at least once a week to reach Stan peak. The most popular way of doing so is by calling out “callout” or “cancel” culture. If you stick to this list in order, you have already fulfilled your Celebrity Callout and Bandwagoning tweets. Next, you need to express how damaging cancel culture is to celebrities and our society, and encourage everyone to give second chances and allow people to learn and grow. This is most effectively followed up by a series of Celebrity Callout or Bandwagoning tweets.

Share Problematic Content: Most importantly, share this post to say how problematic it was and that you’ll never support my blog again. Except for the How I Met My Girlfriend series since that one’s your favorite. Remember that you should never scrutinize your favs.

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